How Do Homeschooled Students Socialize?
Homeschooled kids and teens can socialize and make friends in a variety of ways, both in person and online.
Did you know homeschooling is the fastest-growing form of education in the U.S.? I didn’t until I saw recent research showing that, even post-pandemic, the number of homeschooled kids continues to climb—up to 2.7 million, according to the Washington Post!
Families from all walks of life are choosing to homeschool for various reasons, so there’s no single “type” of homeschooler. Still, anyone considering it has probably faced the same question: How do homeschooled students socialize?
As a therapist, I can confirm that socialization is crucial to every child’s emotional and cognitive growth, especially for preteens and teens whose development relies on peer relationships. So, whether you’re asking this yourself or fielding questions from curious (or nosy) neighbors, it’s a topic worth exploring.
Socialization can be challenging for all kids, regardless of school setting. Homeschooling families just face different hurdles than their public school counterparts.
In this post, I’ll dive into the importance of socialization, why not all social events are equal, and how parents can intentionally set their kids up for social success. We’ll also look at how online platforms (like our D&D games) can add valuable support to a homeschooler’s social world.
Socializing is More Than Just Hanging Out
When we talk about "socializing," we usually picture kids hanging out with their friends—laughing, chatting, and having fun, maybe even getting into a little trouble for being too chatty in class! But socializing is about more than just those playful moments. It also means learning how to navigate the world around them, picking up on social cues, and developing important communication skills.
Socialization has two meanings. It can mean simply participating in social activities, but it also describes the process by which young people learn to navigate the society around them. Meaningful interactions that go beyond just having a good time are essential for helping them build relationships, work through conflicts, and really connect with others.
The goal is for kids to develop a well-rounded set of skills that prepare them for the world. That means we’re not just aiming for them to have fun with friends; we also want them to learn how to communicate effectively, understand emotions, and navigate different social situations. Ideally, you’re looking for activities that provide opportunities for both kinds of socializing.
There’s a lot of overlap here with Social-Emotional Learning, or SEL skills. These are the “soft skills” that are a challenge for kids to pick up regardless of their school setting because they' are usually not explicitly taught in class. Common SEL skills include:
Verbal and nonverbal communication
Negotiation and shared decision-making
Conflict resolution
Emotion regulation
Growth mindset
Empathy and perspective-taking
Impulse control
Creative problem-solving
We don’t just magically come into the world knowing how to do these things: they’re a skillset that we learn through experiences with others. As a homeschooling parent, you have the benefit of being able to prioritize social-emotional learning for your child if you so choose!
Socialization is a Psychological Need for Kids!
Socialization has important psychological benefits for kids: they need to feel love and belonging in order to become confident people!
As a therapist, I work through social issues with kids all the time and know firsthand the distress kids feel when their social needs aren’t being met. The loneliness epidemic is very real, and it’s impacting the mental health of our kids and teens.
I love this post from Responsible Homeschooling, and how it talks about socialization as a human need. In therapy, we talk about the hierarchy of needs, which was created by a psychologist named Dr. Abraham Maslow. He’s the guy who created the pyramid image on the right. According to his hierarchy, you need to have your basic needs met before you can move on to higher-level pursuits.
Socialization falls into the “love and belonging” part of the hierarchy. Kids need to feel a sense of belonging and acceptance from their social group before they can move on to the big stuff at the top of the pyramid, like self-esteem and self-actualization.
Teens have additional work to do when it comes to socialization. They are preparing to fledge the nest and figuring out who they are as individuals outside of their family of origin. In therapy, we call this process “separation and individuation.” They need peers to compare and contrast to in order to do this! It’s normal for kids to increasingly rely on support from their peers and, of course, as parents, we hope our kids land in a peer group that is a positive influence on their lives, rather than a source of stress.
Social Activities for Homeschoolers: The Basics
You’ve likely already heard of these frequently-recommended options for helping homeschooled students socialize. But just in case one of these ideas has slipped by you, they’re worth mentioning anyway. If you’re looking for ways to help your homeschooled child or teen make friends and practice social skills, consider the following:
A mix of both structured and unstructured activities can help homeschooled teenagers meet their social needs.
Co-ops: check out this searchable database from The Homeschool Mom to find an academic (core subjects) or enrichment (electives) co-op near you.
Individual and group sports: the YMCA, JCC, or even potentially your local public school will have options here.
Church youth groups and activities: Some churches even offer D&D for kids!
Volunteering: look for nonprofits near you that align with your child’s interests.
Boy or Girl Scouts troops are great for meeting local, same-aged kids,
Clubs for specific interests: find likeminded new friends through your YMCA, local library, 4-H club, or town rec center.
Creative Homeschool Social Activity Ideas
If you’ve come this far, you’ve probably gone through the basics. You’re ready to take your socialization efforts to the next level. Maybe your child has quirky interests and isn’t thrilled by the prospect of scouts or sports. Maybe they’re too young to volunteer. Whatever your motivation, here are a few slightly more out-there options for homeschoolers:
Connect with an international student or family: See if any local colleges need host families for their international students. You might also consider joining the Welcome Corps or a similar local organization that helps refugee families start new lives in the U.S. Either way, you’ll learn about a new culture and make new friends.
Community and children’s theater: Theater kids tend to be a pretty welcoming and inclusive bunch, and something about working on a play tends to build lasting friendships. Community theater is a less intimidating place to start for those not currently aspiring to be on Broadway.
Teen book clubs: Book clubs seem to be the go-to for adult friendship-seekers, so why not teens? Our local bookstore offers several fun, themed book clubs appropriate for younger readers.
Your friendly neighborhood game store: Most local game stores do more than sell merch: they’re a hub for the whole geeky community. You’ll likely find many opportunities to learn new games and play them with others.
Online gaming and platforms: We had to mention this one, right? High quality online experiences can connect your child with peers from all over the globe in a way that’s intentional and interactive. We’ll unpack this further later on.
Possible Social Challenges for Homeschooled Students
Homeschool offers many potential advantages, including social ones, for kids. There’s a reason it’s so popular! So you aren’t going to see me tossing around memes about awkward homeschool kids here.
Just like any school setting, homeschooling has its own unique challenges. You do have to do a little extra work to make sure your child is getting adequate social time, especially if you’re not homeschooling as part of a co-op or microschool. “Adequate” is going to mean different things for different kids, however!
Here are some common potential challenges for homeschool families looking to make friends:
Geographic location: Big city homeschoolers are spoiled for choice when it comes to activities: museums, libraries, and cultural institutions are a dime a dozen. If you live in a more remote location, however, your options for in-person clubs, classes, and volunteering might be slim.
Age limitations: Many volunteer opportunities are geared toward older teenagers and don’t allow younger kids to participate. Even if your tween or young teen would love to walk dogs at the local animal shelter, they may not be able to for liability reasons.
Lack of unstructured social time: Extracurriculars are amazing, but kids also need unstructured time with friends where they can speak off-topic, blow off steam, and learn to navigate their increasingly complex social world with peers.
Lack of diversity: Getting to know and appreciate different kinds of people is key for social growth, but it’s not always easy. Public schools might have more diversity, depending on who they draw in—but that’s not always guaranteed, either.
Anxiety: If your homeschooler has social anxiety, connecting with new people or feeling at ease in social settings can be tough—especially if they faced isolation or bullying before homeschooling.
Okay, so remember how I said we’d circle back to online gaming? The time has come. Keep reading to learn why I think online gaming—and D&D in particular—can help overcome some of the challenges associated with socializing in the modern age.
How Can Online Games and Communities Help Kids Socialize?
Kids today, regardless of school setting, are doing more of their socializing online. This can be a blessing and a curse for families. Like me, you may yearn for the days when kids ran freely through their neighbors backyards for hours after school. I hope that this still happens for your child, and that they have wonderful, supportive “IRL” friends as a foundation of their social life.
Online games and platforms vary widely in terms of safety and quality—see our post on Discord, where we unpack the pros and cons of this very popular app. But high quality, safe online games can be a great option for homeschoolers who crave more social connection. I see them as a supplement to fill in the gaps left by local friendships and get specific needs met.
Here are some ways online games can help your child on their quest for socialization:
Online activities open up the world for homeschoolers, giving them chances to connect with likeminded kids across the street or across the country.
They broaden your “neighborhood” to include likeminded kids from across the state, country, or world.
They add richness and diversity to your child’s social group by introducing them to kids from all walks of life.
They let kids find solidarity and celebrate niche interests that aren’t widely recognized in daily life.
They help your child meet a wide variety of children, increasing the odds that they “click” with someone.
For anxious and neurodivergent kids, online settings can feel safer and less intimidating than in-person socializing, making it easier to take the first step toward friendship
So what’s the best online game for homeschoolers looking to make friends? In my humble opinion, it’s Dungeons & Dragons.
Dungeons and Dragons for Homeschoolers
Dungeons & Dragons (D&D) is a fantastic way for homeschoolers to socialize online. Unlike Minecraft or Roblox, D&D isn’t just a computer game—it’s a shared storytelling adventure. Players team up to tackle challenges, problem-solve, and build narratives, honing teamwork, communication, and creativity.
D&D sessions mirror real-world social dynamics, making it perfect for practicing social skills like empathy, teamwork, and self-control. It’s structured enough to guide play but open enough for natural interaction, giving teens a safe space to explore different social roles and behaviors.
As a therapist, I’ve seen how this role-playing can help teens process emotions, build self-esteem, and even rehearse real-world interactions. And I’m not alone: there’s substantial research to back up D&D’s social benefits.
Plus, the game’s collaborative nature teaches trust and reminds players that everyone’s contribution matters. For homeschoolers who may struggle with social confidence, these experiences foster a genuine sense of belonging and accomplishment.
Socialize and Make Friends at Young Dragonslayers!
At Young Dragonslayers, we put friendship and socialization at the forefront of our online D&D adventures—we want kids (both homeschooled and not) to have fun and build confidence, too!
We designed our Young Dragonslayers online D&D program with friendship and socialization in mind. Rather than randomly assigning kids to groups, we thoughtfully place kids together who we think are likely to get along. In our program, you’ll find:
Small groups (no more than 6) of similarly-aged players matched based on interests, personality, and play style.
Games supervised at all times by an adult facilitator who is skilled at working with kids (most of our Game Masters come from helping professions like education and mental health).
A semi-structured environment that supports social interactions while still leaving room for imagination and play.
Customized storylines tailored to players’ interests that encourage group participation.
An inclusive, affirming environment that welcomes players of all experience levels.
Fun, high-quality D&D games run by self-described nerds who absolutely love the game🙂 .
Ready to get started with us? Fill out our waiting list application, and we’ll let you know when we open enrollment for our next season of games.