Joining the Party: D&D as a Supportive Community for Kids with Depression
Whether in-person or online, the social support a D&D group provides can benefit teenagers dealing with depression.
Since the pandemic, the rates of childhood depression have doubled: worldwide, 1 in 4 teens report having “clinically significant” symptoms. We know that the disruption in routines, missed milestones, and isolation of the pandemic had a huge impact on kids’ mental health, and we’ll probably see after effects for years to come.
Our company, Young Dragonslayers™, was founded in 2020 as a direct response to the huge wave of depression that swept through the lives of kids and teens in my therapy practice. I was looking for a way to help kids stay connected to something meaningful during that chaotic and lonely time. Dungeons & Dragons is predictable, socially supportive, and lets kids experience “wins” every time they play. It’s a wonderful option for kids struggling with depression, and today I’d like to talk about why.
Understanding Depression in Kids
Depression can affect kids of nearly any age: psychologists have found that children as young as two can show signs of depression after trauma or loss. Depression causes children to feel persistently sad or down. Activities—and life in general—just don’t feel as hopeful or interesting as they used to. When depression is severe, it can hold kids back from attending school, maintaining friendships, and taking care of themselves on a day to day basis.
Some common risk factors for childhood depression include:
Having a family history of depression
Being female: girls are twice as likely to experience depression as boys
Stressful life or family experiences
Being socially isolated
Trauma and loss
Parents of depressed kids or teens may notice symptoms such as:
Low energy or “laziness”
No longer being interested in things they used to care about
Hopelessness
Changes in eating and sleeping habits
Trouble paying attention or maintaining grades at school
If you’re worried that your child’s depression is becoming severe, and you’re concerned about their safety, you can contact the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988. Kids can text with a trained helper 24/7 by texting the Crisis Text Line at 741-741.
Most kids who have symptoms of depression don’t receive professional help—approximately 70% of kids do not get treatment. If you think your child is experiencing diagnoseable depression, therapy can really help.
D&D Works Alongside Depression Therapy
Fortunately, we have really good therapy options for kids and teens with depression. Approaches like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, also called CBT, can help kids overcome their symptoms by noticing the way that depression distorts their thinking and keeps them stuck in unhelpful patterns. Play therapy and art therapy help kids voice their feelings, and can feel less awkward than just sitting in a room staring at a therapist for an hour.
Recreational activities like D&D aren’t a replacement for therapy. However, they work great as an adjunct to treatment, meaning that they’ll complement and enhance the work your child is doing with their therapist. It’s like the cherry on top of your therapeutic sundae: sure, you could go without, but it’s nice to have.
As an adjunct to therapy, D&D groups can maximize the effectiveness of your child’s depression treatment. They give kids a chance to reinforce the skills they’re learning in therapy through play, particularly social and emotional skills. There is a lot of overlap between social skills deficits and depression. It’s easy to feel down when you’re struggling to connect with peers, and boosting these skills can be a big help.
D&D also provides an avenue to pursue treatment goals like meeting new peers, improving verbal communication, and adding more joyful activities to daily life. Speaking of skills, this seems like a great time to introduce one of the biggest and most important techniques we use in depression therapy: behavior activation.
Behavior Activation and D&D: A Powerful Anti-Depression Tool
Behavior activation is a depression-fighting tool from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy that uses scheduled activities to add positive, creative, social experiences back into daily life.
Behavior activation is probably the most common tool therapists use when working with depressed kids. It’s a classic, and for good reason: it works. Behavior activation is based on the idea that a lack of positive experiences in life can contribute to depression. Even if nothing is majorly “wrong,” it’s hard to maintain good mental health without enough good experiences to keep you going.
Depression tricks people into thinking that nothing is worth doing. Kids with depression often lose motivation to continue with activities they used to love. They may feel like they don’t have the energy, or worry they won’t have fun once they get there. So, they stay home. This creates a vicious cycle that causes kids to avoid exactly the kinds of activities that could actually help them start feeling better.
In behavior activation, rather than waiting for motivation to strike, you commit to doing the activity anyway, whether you feel like it or not. Kids can identify what values are really important to them, like having close friendships, improving in a sport, or even just having a clean room. Once they have a goal, they can schedule—and commit to—activities that will help them achieve it.
Good behavior activation activities usually fall into one or more of these categories:
Social activities: anything that helps a kid connect to other people will naturally help them feel better.
Creative outlets: we all need opportunities to play and express ourselves, regardless of age.
Joyful, pleasurable activities: fun is therapeutic! Kids with depression need to find ways to activate these more positive emotions.
Tasks with a sense of accomplishment: it’s satisfying to know you’ve achieved something, and good for self-esteem, too.
D&D falls into all 4 of these categories, which makes it a great option for kids looking to add a positive and rewarding activity to their life. Plus, it’s scheduled on predictable basis, which makes it especially useful for behavior activation.
D&D is Creative, Social, and Rewarding
When dealing with depression, one of our big goals is to actively seek out activities that are going to help us feel good, instead of just waiting at home to see if something changes. Based on what we just covered about behavior activation in the section above, we know some activities are better at promoting good feelings than others. Anything that is creative, social, playful, or provides a sense of accomplishment can build more positive experiences into life, leaving less room for depression.
The imaginative aspects of D&D encourage self-expression and creativity. It’s essentially a more grownup version of make believe. Within the structure of the story, players are free to be whoever they want to be, and do whatever they want to do. After spending the rest of your day following rules and being practical, it’s nice to be able to just blow off some steam and conjure a unicorn for a change. We find that players often create personas for themselves based on their favorite characters, and include personality traits they’d like to see more of in themselves. These characters can become great vehicles for self-expression.
Whether you play in-person or online, D&D is a social game. Even though the journey is an imaginary one, there’s something about embarking on an epic quest that tends to bond people together. You get to know people in a different, deeper way. Each player is essential to the party and brings their own unique strengths to the table. Week after week, you interact with this small group of people until you find you’ve formed a community. It’s the closest you might come in real life to having your own Fellowship of the Ring.
Finally, accomplishments are built right into the DNA of D&D. Over the course of a campaign, players level up their characters by overcoming challenges, gaining new skills and magical abilities along the way. If you’re lucky, your DM might sprinkle in some magical items or creatures as an added bonus for your efforts. Even in a fantasy realm, you can get real satisfaction from succeeding at a task. There’s a reason why so many teachers, therapists, and other professionals are looking for ways to “gamify” their work: earning points and leveling up feels great, and keeps us motivated.
D&D Empowers Kids to Show Up for Each Other (and Themselves)
The collaborative nature of D&D adds a sense of shared accountability, helping kids and teens to show up for each other even when depression makes it hard.
So we’ve established that D&D is fun, social, creative, and rewarding…all the traits that we look for in a depression-busting activity. But when you’re in a depressive funk, it can be hard to show up for things—even though showing up is what’s most likely to help us feel better.
The brain sends out all kinds of unhelpful thoughts to discourage us from trying: I'm not feeling up for this today. I’m not going to have a good time. I don’t have the energy. It’s not going to be worth it, so why even bother? It can be hard to break out of this rut and get back out into the world, even when a person really does want to get better.
This is—at least in my opinion—another area where D&D shines. The collaborative nature of D&D means that your fellow players are counting on you to show up. They need you to help them win! This sense of accountability can motivate players to show up to help their team, even on days when it’s hard to show up for themselves.
In D&D, each player creates a character who brings a unique set of strengths and weaknesses to the table. In a typical adventuring party, you’re likely to find healers, fighters, magic users, and tough guys. Some characters may be incredibly wise, but physically frail. Others might be designed to sustain tons of damage in battle, but have no charisma when it comes to dealing with others. Different scenarios call for different sets of skills, and so players rely on each other to step up to the plate when their talents are needed.
It’s easier to talk back to that demotivating self-talk when you know you’re truly needed in a group. Thoughts like “whats the point?” can be countered with “If I’m not there tonight, who’s going to lead the interrogation with that hostage we caught? I’m the only one who can roll a good indimidation check.” I would imagine players in team sports feel this same sense of duty toward their teammates, but as an utterly unathletic person, I don’t know for sure.
What I do know is that the structured, predictable schedule of D&D can help kids adhere to a routine and commit to participating in a group activity, surrounded by supportive friends. Peers will always be more motivating than adults, and even when an adult is facilitating a D&D game, it’s the young players who are calling the shots.
Anecdotally, many parents have shared with me that their kids look forward to our D&D games all week. They’re motivated to attend even when they’re struggling in other areas of their lives. I love hearing this! Every kid deserves to have a place to go where they feel seen and supported.
Interested in Enrolling Your Child in a Dungeons & Dragons Group?
So, I’ve made the case for D&D as a beneficial activity for kids’ mental health. Are you interested in giving it a try? Good news: there’s probably never been a better time to be a kid looking to get into D&D. Thanks to Stranger Things making D&D a pop culture phenomenon, there are many options for youth players to get involved with the game, both in person and online.
When searching for a group, look for a supportive environment that includes kids who are close in age to your child. Usually, this leads to the best game experience. You may want to ask the group leader some questions, such as:
Who facilitates your games: adults or kids?
What rules do you put in place to encourage a safe environment?
Will my child be with other beginner players, or are the groups mixed?
How many kids participate in each game? Do the same kids show up each week?
Who supervises the games?
Once you’ve selected a group, you can support your child to help them make the most of their experience. Encourage your child to keep their commitment, even if they worry beforehand that it’s not going to be worth it. Getting started is the hardest part! You can check in after the game to see if their negative predictions were true: was it fun once they got there? Did they find the energy they needed to participate? Your child may be surprised to find that once they show up and participate, all those hesitations usually fade away.
You can also reinforce your child’s progress by celebrating their wins, both in and out of game. Getting out and socializing when you don’t feel like it is a win! Defeating the big boss is also a win! Recognize these successes as they happen, and ask your child about the details of their campaign. Did they say or do anything funny tonight? Have they leveled up recently? Listening to your kid talk about their passions is a great way to bond.
Join Our Party: Weekly D&D Games for Kids and Teens
Our weekly D&D games were born as a response to pandemic-related depression among kids and teens. Our social, supportive games are now available online to kids everywhere.
As I mentioned up top, our game company were created as a response to pandemic-related depression. As a therapist, I just could not believe how many young kids were entering therapy with symptoms of depression, when I was much more accustomed to seeing anxiety. At the same time, playing D&D online with my friends had become a bright spot in my own week: something consistent I could look forward to in the midst of a lot of upheaval.
I started joking with friends about “prescribing” D&D to kids…and then eventually asked one of those friends to help me run some games for middle schoolers. And here we are today!
Our games pair like-minded kids with trained adult facilitators to create supportive, safe environments that (we hope) set kids up to have successful and positive social experiences with their peers. All our Game Masters are professionals who have worked with children in their non-D&D lives, usually either in the fields of education or mental health.
In order to match kids with peers they’re likely to get along with, we meet with and vet every family who applies to our program. It’s a chance for kids and parents to meet us, confirm that we’re real human beings, and ask any questions about our games. Through interviews and trial game sessions, we’re able to group kids together based on maturity level, time zone, and common interests. By the time a child starts in our games, we’ve got a good idea of who they are and how they like to play. We think this sets everyone up for success.
If you’d like to see what we’re all about, you can get started by following these steps:
Fill out our application to join the waitlist.
Join us for a meet and greet when enrollment opens (we’ll email you!) and check out a trial game if you’d like to learn more.
Start playing with a group of supportive new friends!
PS—if you’re in crisis or looking for therapeutic help for depression, kids can text with a trained helper 24/7 by texting the Crisis Text Line at 741-741.