The OTHER DND Movie Nobody Talks About: Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

Wait… What is the Old DND Movie?

We’re all excited to see Honor Among Thieves, but did you know that before this D&D movie, there was...another? Back in the year 2000, Dungeons & Dragons the movie was born. It was directed by a guy named Courtney Solomon and, unbelievably, starred Jeremy Irons. And it didn’t go over very well! Join Sergio as he goes on a cinematic journey back in time to revisit this weird, unfortunate movie. Watch the video or keep reading below!

How Did This Weird Movie Get Made?

In order to understand how this … atrocity happened, we must travel back eons ago … to the year 1990. This is when an ambitious and inexperienced 19 year old named Courtney Solomon went up to TSR Inc., the then-owners of D&D, and asked if he could have $100 million to make a D&D movie. He rolled a Nat 20 on a persuasion check and so the DM that is called The Universe was forced to make TSR say “Yeah, sure.”

So, Solomon went on a quest to find a director good enough for the film. But TSR pulled an oopsie and went bankrupt, selling D&D to Wizards of the Coast, who for some reason hated the idea of making a D&D movie and hated Solomon even more. So they pulled a fun little prank where they sued Solomon, gave the film a very short completion deadline or else he would lose the rights to the movie, and slashed his budget to $36 million. Then, they made him direct the movie, and only allowed him to use an old version of the script. 

And bred from this evil and hate, in the year 2000, a child of chaos was born. But while babies are 95% poops and crying, there is always something beautiful on the inside. For the D&D movie, that thing is Jeremy Irons. But we’ll get to him later. First, we must start at the beginning …

The Long, Strange Plot of Dungeons & Dragons (2000)

Before we cast any judgment on the old DND movie, let’s take a look at the plot.

The movie begins with a way-too-long voiceover about how the Empress of Izmir believes wizards and muggles should be equal! Right as I was about to fall asleep, I was woken up by the telltale sound of Jeremy Irons muttering. He tries to make a magic dragon stick but, oops, it doesn’t work, so he has to get another one…which the Empress has.

Then, we cut to a couple of Level 1 Rogues named Ripley and Snails who decide to break into the magic school. Then we cut once more to the Imperial Senate where Jeremy is is trying to convince them to remove the scepter from the empress. Just like Solomon before him, he rolls a Nat 20 and all the magic men agree to take it from her. 

Jeremy's personal assistant Damodar is sent to kill the empress’ mentor and recover a third dragon stick but only completes half of the assignment so Jeremy tells him he's on thin ice. The rogues are caught by some librarian mage named Marina who casts hold person on them, goes to help her already dead friend, grabs the map to the dragon rod, and casts what in 5e would probably be Gate, meaning she is a level 8 wizard!

They fall through the Gate into the world’s tallest Dwarf, who decides to tag along. After some very lucky sleuthing they determine with the map that the only way to get the rod is to first go and get something called the “eye of the dragon” which is located in some thieves’ guild run by Xilus.

Thanks to the power of money they decide to get the dragon wand before Damodar can get to it and form The Fellowship of the Rod. But, oop, what's that? A mysterious figure is tracking them in the woods…

Once in the city that houses the thieves guild, they meet this thief who likes to make weird mouth sounds, and this is the best moment of the movie. They follow him into the thieves’ guild, where in order to get the eye, Ridley must first pull an Indiana Jones and do some tomb raiding in uncharted territory. Which he does. And is then betrayed by Xilus.

But fortunately, Damodar shows up and a battle between thieves and evil mages breaks out where Marina, the Level 8 wizard, is captured by Damodar instead of the Level 1 Rogues! Oh, and also Damodar gets the map to the dragon rod.

After escaping that skirmish, they are captured by the mysterious woman and she is wearing armor that I in no way feel comfortable describing or showing on YouTube. We find out that this lady works for the empress and is trying to track down Damodar. A truce is formed and they head off top Damodar’s castle where apparently only the two thieves are able to enter for…some reason.

Of course, Damodar kills Snails, and Ripley says “Noooooo!” and is stabbed to near-death. But, with the power of elves, he gets cured, and eventually heads to a cave where he gets the Wand of Red Dragons! But surprise surprise, Damodar is there and takes the rod.

Meanwhile in Izmir, war has broken out between the empress, who has her gold dragons—that look terrible by the way—and Jeremy Irons, who just has a couple of catapults. Sadly, Jeremy is losing until Damodar shows up to give Jeremy the rod.  He summons a bunch of red dragons, which gives him the upper hand.

Ridley fights Damodar, throwing him off the tower. With unquenched bloodlust Ridley goes for Mr. Irons next, and promptly starts to lose. But, thanks to his friends getting beat up, distracting Jeremy, Ridley grabs the rod, destroys it, and just in time the empress shows up.

Ridley casts powerful magic on the empress but then Jeremy mutters some weird stuff for so long that he gets distracted and eaten by a dragon. Then that dragon does a sick little dive off the tower: the second best part of the movie. And finally, we conclude with the empress declaring that “you are all now equal,” solving all inequality forever.

The End!

Is The Old DND Movie Any Good? Let’s Review.

So uh, is the movie good? 

Well, the plot feels like a mediocre, basic game of D&D, so maybe that's a win. It’s like an AI wrote the most generic plot for a game about dungeons and dragons. And there are moments where you can almost feel the DM trying to pad out the session with meaningless roadblocks because the players are just blasting through the story. 

But hey, plot isn't everything. On the bright side the CGI is…well, bad. But I mean the movie came out in 2000, CGI wasn't that good back then. But the practical effects are…also bad. They only had 36 million dollars to work with, but that’s way more than, say, the original Star Wars triology had, and the first of those movies came out 23 years earlier.

So overall, the plot, effects, and acting of most of the cast is not great, but there is shining beacon in this mess of a movie … and that is our good friend Jeremy Irons, AKA Profion. In a movie that takes itself pretty seriously, Mr. Irons is great comedic relief every time he hams it up on screen. It's amazing!

The only reason he took the role was because he needed the money to renovate his castle, but I'm so glad he did. Every time he appeared on screen I knew that I was about to receive a healthy dose of ridiculous over the top acting. And sometimes, you really need that.

Should You Watch Dungeons & Dragons (2000)?

So in conclusion: should you watch this movie? No, definitely not, unless you really love schlocky movies or Jeremy Irons. With the new D&D movie, Honor Among Thieves, now available, you’ve got much better options to choose from.

And, hey, if you’re interested in playing some Dungeons & Dragons with a plot more imaginative than this movie’s, you know where to turn! We don’t have Jeremy Irons, but we do have a whole host of talented DMs who are ready to take you on your next adventure.

Our 10 week online D&D campaigns are open to tweens and teens ages 11-16. We use homebrew content to help playres explore their interests while making new friends in a safe, supportive, and inclusive space. We welcome players of all backgrounds, genders, and experience levels, so whether you’re a total newbie or you’ve been playing forever, there’s a spot for you at our virtual table.

Wanna learn more? Check out our FAQ or apply to get on our waitlist for upcoming games.